


Have You Ever...?

by for_t2



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Clowns, Coping, Dancing, Existential Angst, F/F, Feels, Friendship, Love, Nerdiness, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_t2/pseuds/for_t2
Summary: Shaw has a city to save, thoughts to cope with, a god in her ear, and some numbers just won't shut up





	Have You Ever...?

_Have you ever cried?_

Shaw was fed up with that number. Seriously fed up. Stupid. Whiny. Loud. Stupid. Really whiny. Sometimes, it’s easy to sympathise with the perp.

Seriously, it’s a goddamn phone. It’s not a relic, it’s not irreplaceable, it didn’t even have anything important saved on it. It’s just a phone. A brand new, fancy expensive one, sure, but just a phone.

“I put months into this!” The rich brat just wouldn’t shut up. “I poured my life into this! My blood! My sweat! My tears! And now it’s gone!”

“It’s not the end of the world,” Shaw sighed.

“How can you say that? How can you—”

The whining was promptly replaced by an umph as Shaw shoved the number aside, and out of the path of the incoming bullets. Shaw fired back as she joined him behind cover. “Just shut up and let me—”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I,” she gritted her teeth, “am the only thing between you and those bullets. So shut up and--”

“You’re a fucking robot!”

Maybe she should just let him die. “You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry muffin.” Now that she mentions it, she’s kinda hungry too. And she could practically hear the purr in robo-Root’s voice as she informed her that some freshly baked muffins would be waiting for them at the safehouse.

Because, as it turns out, robots do have feelings.

And one robot in particular absolutely loves it when Shaw lets her stupid nerdy side slip through. Not that Shaw would ever admit it to anyone except Root. Ever.

Okay, maybe sometimes Fusco.

But always Root.

Always.

Because Shaw has cried. Once. One single tear. And she’s never going to let anyone do that to Root again. Even if she is just an annoying robot god these days.

_Have you ever danced? _

Oh, boy.

Sometimes, the Machine just spits out a number. Shaw likes those times. But most of the time, robo-Root gets this hop in her voice, and comes out with these dumbass lines, and Shaw just knows it’s going to be a difficult number. Shaw grumbles about those times, but secretly she kinda thinks they’re cute. Very secretly.

“Please don’t tell me…”

“You’ve got a new number!” And only Root could sound that happy about the prospect of someone’s imminent demise.

“I took some classes when I was a kid,” Fusco says, over the munching of his sandwich. “There was this girl I wanted to impress. Marie Lajoie.”

“Ooh,” and Shaw’s looking forward to this story, “I bet that turned out well.”

“First kiss,” and Fusco winks at her. Like, actually winks.

“What?”

“True story,” robo-Root whispers in Shaw’s ear, and, for a moment, Shaw misses her. Misses the way she couldn’t wink, but always kept doing it anyways. “It was very romantic.”

“You know,” he continues, “I should find out what happened to her. She always said she wanted to be a journalist.”

“She died when she was twenty-one,” the Machine whispers in Shaw’s ear only, “run over by a drunk politician.” And Shaw decides that she doesn’t need to tell Fusco. Especially not when he’s enjoying his sandwich. “But,” She continues, in both ears “I want to hear Shaw’s story.”

Three times. Once in high school when they forced her to go to a dance. That didn’t end well, but at least Shaw was able to sneak away some cake. The second time was a mission in Delhi, when Shaw needed to make her way through a crowd to get to the target. The third was simulation eleven. Twelve. Ten? Something like that, when Shaw was just starting to figure out that she was in a simulation, when she needed to prove that she was in a simulation, and so she did something she’d never do. And the way the simulated Root reacted was just wrong.

“Who’s the number?” Shaw knows that robo-Root already knows her story. It’s one of the perks of being a robot overlord.

_Have you ever screamed?_

Shaw doesn’t scream. She never has, she never will.

But these days, sometimes she wants to. Sometimes, the reality gets too real. Or unreal. And she doesn’t know what to do.

She usually just ends up punching something. Or somebody.

It always ends the same way, with a drink and a long silent conversation with Root.

_Have you ever laughed?_

“You should see the guy I work with.”

Of all the days for Fusco to take a vacation, it had to be today. The day that the number that pops is a fucking clown. A literal clown.

And, of course, the clown just won’t shut up. And the clown just keeps trying to make these stupid jokes, and keeps failing badly. This time, Shaw completely sympathises with the perp.

There’s only one in the world whose unfunny jokes Shaw will laugh at. Only one person for who Shaw’s willing to go looking for the funny side.

And now, Shaw’s wondering if Root ever had to go undercover as a clown. And that mental image makes her laugh.

_Have you ever killed? _

Shaw doesn’t think this number is ready to do that.

“Because I have.”

Shaw doesn’t even remember her first. She guesses it didn’t seem important at the time. It was just a mission. Just her job. Just what she was good at.

“Don’t…” The number stammers, “Don’t try to stop me.”

“It’s a lot of blood.” Only if you do it sloppily, which this poor guy will. “Are you ready to see the way their eyes fade?” And maybe there’s a part of Shaw that will never stopped being pissed that she wasn’t there when it happened, to hold Root’s hand or whatever you’re supposed to do, but just to be there, to make sure she wasn’t alone. “Are you ready to be alone like that?”

“I…” The number falters.

Root loved killing. Even after she became one of the good guys, Shaw could still that part of her, could see it when it pushed its way into her eyes. She never did, of course, but that instinct never goes away. It made her dangerous. And maybe it made some small part of Shaw scared. And another part excited.

“I don’t know what to do,” the number drops the gun. Cries. “Please.”

Shaw doesn’t care about killing. She doesn’t like it, hate it, or really feel anything about it. But she’s not going to let anyone else kill. Because Shaw always does the protecting.

And that makes Root proud.

_Have you ever believed? _

That… is a difficult question.

At least Fusco looks as uncomfortable as her right now. They’re used saving numbers in a physical way, not a spiritual way. And they’re both praying to hell that this number isn’t going to count on them to sort through her sudden crisis of faith.

The last time Shaw saw someone go through that type of crisis, she put a bullet through her shoulder and let Finch ship her off to an institution. But Root’s god came back for her. Eventually, Shaw kissed her. And in the end, Root became the god.

What’s the moral behind that story?

_Have you ever died? _

This number thinks he’s intimidating.

Sure, Shaw may be tied to a chair, and the number may be pointing a gun in her face, and the number may have a few heavily armed henchmen, but they don’t have a Machine.

Shaw smirks.

“You think it’s funny?” The perp spits out. “Let me show—"

“Seven thousand.”

“What?”

“Seven thousand times.”

And the number’s eyes scrunch up. Even if they don’t know about Her, most people are smart enough not to mess with Shaw.

“Are you—”

The number never gets to finish that sentence. Fusco and the NYPD burst through one door. Shaw bursts out of her restraints. And it’s over before they know it.

“You okay?” Fusco checks with her as soon as he can. And he knows Shaw would do the same for him.

“You got any chocolate?”

_Have you ever loved? _

Shaw isn’t good at dealing with people.

Especially when that person is far too young to lose somebody. But, this time, Shaw kinda gets what the number is going through. And, standing together at the fresh grave, Shaw thinks that she shouldn’t have to go through it her alone. Shaw didn’t.

“Her name was Root.”


End file.
